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The Question I Asked My Dad (the Protestant Preacher)

In the mid-1990s, my father took a new pastorate in Illinois. The Presbyterian congregation had suffered great loss in membership when a new, independent, charismatic church opened its doors for business and began recruiting members from the rosters of local parishes (from all denominations and even the local Catholic parish). Dad had a challenge on his hands. How does one keep parishioners excited about remaining Presbyterian when there was so much excitement about what was happening just down the street at the no-affiliation-congregation?

One day, I asked Dad a question that I’d been thinking about for quite awhile. I wondered how Dad would answer the question.

“Dad, what would you do if you had a parishioner who was marrying someone from another faith community? How would you counsel them – if the future bride and groom had completely different opinions on where to worship?”

Dad responded so swiftly and directly that I knew he had faced this question many times. “I would urge them strongly to decide on one church.”

“Even if their choice was not your parish?” I asked, knowing that this was the question I really wanted answered.

“Yes. Even then.”

I’ve thought about his answer many times in the last ten years. And I understand the guiding principle of his position. Unity matters. Where faith and marriage intersect, unity matters.

The microcosm is seen clearly in the marital bond. A man takes a bride and they need to be one. This becoming one is good, but sometimes it is very difficult, too.

If we take this lesson (at the micro-level) and expand it to the macrocosm, we learn another lesson. A very important lesson that is good, even if it is sometimes very difficult.

Marriage between a husband and a wife is the pale imitation of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Bride (the Church).

St. Paul delights in making comparisons between marriage (and the love between husbands and wives) and the approaching Wedding Day between Christ and His Bride (the Church).

Dad’s wisdom, when taken from the microcosm and applied to the macrocosm is very powerful – and potentially life changing.

If it is important for a husband and a wife to be one, how much more important is it for the Bride to be one with her Bridegroom?

We must stop acting like a Bride who thinks it doesn’t really matter. You get to do your own thing. Go where you want. Think what you want. Act how you want. Agree to disagree.

The “children” are going to get mixed messages and then the lack of unity becomes greater and more tragic. Who are the children? The little ones who want to come to Christ. But where do they go? What church? What denomination? What is the right teaching to embrace?

Bride of Christ, you are scattered into more than 30,000 denominations. Some researchers say the number of denominations is closer to 50,000. You have different opinions on everything. Whether or not baptism matters. How to get saved. Whether or not salvation can be lost. What it means to be baptized in the Holy Spirit. Whether or not you must have the charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit. What the Trinity is. What verses in the Bible really mean. Which verses are more important and should be memorized. The definition of a Sacrament – or whether or not there even is such a thing as a Sacrament. Whether the Creed is important or worthless. Whether going to church on Sunday matters. If the songs sung in church should be old hymns, only from the Psalms, or only new songs that have been written in the last five years and flashed on a big screen. Whether or not one should clap in church. Or say amen. Or whether or not women should only wear dresses and never cut their hair short.

You disagree on everything.

And you don’t think it matters. But, it does matter.

If it is important for a husband and wife to be one – if unity is of paramount importance in marriage – how much more important is unity to the Life and Love shared between The Bridegroom who is Jesus and His Bride who is the Church?

The Bridegroom has shared His deepest Heart with you, His Bride. When He prays for you, He asks God to make you one — with a unity that is perfect — a unity that is as perfect as the unity between God the Father and God the Son (John 17). Why? So that the world may know Him. Jesus Christ loves His Bride. And He wants you to be so united to Him that your unity draws more and more to come.

True unity is difficult. Husbands and wives know it. Sometimes, it means sitting down and talking and talking and talking. Sometimes it means opening your heart and really listening to your husband (or wife). Sometimes, it means dying to self. And discovering Christian unity requires all of these.

Bride of Christ, it will not be easy, but unity is worth it.

Consider coming home to the Catholic faith where unity has always been a hallmark of the faith, where Bridegroom and Bride are one, where every nation gathers to worship God. Oh, and bring your spouse.

2 Comments Post a comment
  1. carrie #

    Thank you dor this. I really needed it this morning. I was raised Baptist and my husband is Catholic. We have been married 10 years and have an 18 month old son. I have been feeling very spiritually pulled towards becoming Catholic, and this truly makes sense to me!

    March 1, 2014
    • Denise Bossert #

      Blessings on your journey! My husband was also raised Baptist and entered the Catholic Church a few years after I did. It has been such a blessing to be able to share our faith and love for the Eucharist with each other and with our daughter! Truly, a joy-filled life! May grace abound!

      March 1, 2014

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