The only wise choice: having the baby conceived in rape
I had the dream again last night. Same, but different.
That’s the problem with dreams. You can’t make them stop out of an ironclad will. Those who are walking with you as you sort through the buried violation of an old rape aren’t there either.
You are there all by yourself, and you aren’t even you.
That is to say, you feel all of it. Every emotion. Every fear. Every injustice. But you are in a weakened state without your coping strategies and the advocates who stand beside you in the waking hours of life.
I read an article yesterday.
It was about the road rape survivors walk. But it was from a secular viewpoint. The baby conceived in rape is the alien, unwanted, a constant reminder, something far from the human created in the image and likeness of God.
The unborn child is an extension of the violator.
Like they are joined more than the mother is to her child.
I wonder, sometimes, where I fit in this modern hashing out of the conception-in-rape scenario.
I feel the burden of memories and dreams-I-can’t-stop.
But I do not, at all, in any way, feel what the world says about the unborn-conceived-in-rape.
I’ve lived too long with my daughter who is a gift. A gift. A gift. A gift.
She is the only good that came from those nights when I was violated.
Even in the dream last night, she was there, and I was protecting her. Getting her away. By force. By ingenuity. By biding my time. By any means.
She does not belong to him.
She doesn’t even belong to me.
She belongs to God, and I am entrusted with protecting her.
It is, perhaps, my only weapon against the violation. What was meant for evil, God has used for good.
And He has given me a path to something good and beautiful through the memories and dreams-which-are-nightmares.
Conception-in-rape is a topic used for the advancement of abortion.
Even the pro-life community doesn’t go there because it seems to be a difficult point to refute. Especially for a pro-life man. Especially for a pro-life woman who has not been raped. Even for a pro-life woman who had a child in less than ideal circumstances.
You just don’t know what it is like for the woman who carries with her a violation. A conception without a yes.
But I do.
And the only wise choice is life. It becomes the only good in a swirling mix of memories and nightmares.
It is a triumph over violation.
A living, breathing triumph.